sharonfabula

you thought you know

2009-05-21T01:46:00.001-07:00

how does it feels to do it yourself when no ones is around and you know you need it seriously.
i used to be so scared of just 1 tiny little small needle. haaas..
it feels duno like what down the vein and the vein there just pull and twist.
woooohoooo! seeems fun!
after so many long days of torture.
you thought you had enough.
but people doesn't seems to really understand how badly it feels to undergo it because they never had.
all they know is once they wake up, got a sms to tell them you're back, you're fine, and great.. a day moves on like normal.
yeah, normal for them.
how normal for me?

that's stupid.
why would they even care?
they have all the rights to lead their normal life.

begging for one to be out with one, hahaahah!
i think i had my pride down to the drain already.
yeah.. everything is already down the drain, what less is there for this.
like i said, i've done covering up so nicely.
even for you, still half is so nicely hidden.

no shortcuts for me

2009-05-20T22:44:00.001-07:00

no confidence to take bigger blows and be disappointed at all.
thus no courage to ask and face what might be the replies.

leave this blog if you can't understand the above.
they are just words.

different place, different environment, different atmosphere, same people, same game same status, yet different feeling.

when she reads, she feels it happy that we are this way.
maybe you would say, she don't bothers anymore.
when he reads, he feels it happy with a "serve you right" attitude.

a pre-informed match.
a post-informed match.
a surprised call check.
an unexplainable report to be done.
my headache arrived just in time to tell me " rest."

I'm just plainly observing my surroundings and people around me.

I was told, i ain't too observant and was too sensitive to some changes around me, and here i'm finding out.

If you find this post is too tough for you to understand, you might be living in too good of a life.
because I'm in these riddles all these while.

clown playing it's role.

2009-05-19T06:28:00.001-07:00

I can be all day pretentious to make everything alright.

"brave." i said to myself.

:(

2009-05-16T11:43:00.001-07:00

i can't sleep at all.
gosh.
can it be canceled tmr?
i'm not ready yet.

orange mood.

2009-05-16T09:57:00.001-07:00

well, shall post photos tmr.
a bit tired though.
great, all these are starting again.
my mind need a rest, i don't want my mind running wild like crazy.
i don't want to be alone at all, but i want to.
how to express this kinda feeling?
i wonder..

goodnight sweet people.

bunny bunny!!

2009-05-14T12:59:00.002-07:00

bunny, my bunny.
not perfect enough.
and when i say 'bunny'.
baby think of bunny girl.
=.=

i promise to be a good girl.

2009-05-14T12:08:00.001-07:00

went to see baby have his new haircut.
nice haircut sweetheart.

anyone knows if he is trying to look away to take some artistic photo or...
some mei mei walk past?
=P
just kiddin`.

i know i'm so completed with his presence around.
only he who brings me further.
Dr.Simon was right.

we played it all.

2009-05-13T02:31:00.001-07:00

11052009
don't really feel like blogging though.
not in the mood, but gonna record some of my stuffs down.
if not, i'd look like a boring useless person.
ahh.. indeed, especially recently.

went to ikea with baby.
but didn't managed to get anything.
went to look for my ribbon-ed hair band for grad ceremony.
but didn't managed to get one as well.
wooo..imagine,
a lot of sets of different colours bikinis,
a lot of sets of different colours hairbands,
a lot of sets of different colours heels,
a lot of sets of different colours bangles,
a lot of sets of different colours bags,
a lot of sets of different colours cardigans,
a lot of sets of different colours mini sweet dresses,
a lot of sets of different colours purses,
a lot of sets of different colours caps
SWEET!

loves.

TODAY
finally completed those hours spend with classmates.
was a little taxing for me.
tried to be a happy face throughout.
get myself real occupied.
luckily there was cycling.
thanks ying hao, for lobang-ing.
the 'tispy-driver'.
hahaha!
thanks for cycling at a damn damn fast speed and allowing me to scream!!
LOLS!

bbq, cycle, play swing, play wii, celebrated 2 belated birthday,
play cake(in a huge mess), play poker, night cycling,
night movie in the room (which i never finish watching).

Michelle driving to chalet. ^^

go get 'bike'.

renting. ^^

waiting...

vincent and mich racing with us. hahaha!

vincent went into short cut and tadahhh!
SPLASHHHH!

they 'parking'. haha..

my swingggg! SWING HIGH HIGH!!

Carol's cake.
Spiderman!!

Vincent's sexy cake.

POSE POSE!

duno carol is praying or wishing?

FROM HERE ONWARDS!
DISGUSTING!

The 'betrayer' to get me back to the chalet.
and he got himself sabotaged as well.
WAHAHAHA!

and yes... i got it as well..

After the cake mess..
waiting for everyone to clean up!

Michelle is drunk. LOLS.

night cycling. =)

DRAINED.

*more photos with others.*
got my hp all in the cake stuffs, hahaha! thanks to Carol.
=P

don't want to be a stranger to you

2009-05-09T11:33:00.001-07:00

my day out with baby.
i miss him, miss him and miss him.
only in his comfort, i am me.

i wonder what wishes have you made?

2009-05-07T06:15:00.001-07:00

04052009

a day that my most precious one arrived 19 years ago.
the one that i want to give in everything just to see a smile hanging on his face.
the one that i hurt the most in the end, and don't know how to even apologize and make it up.
but he still forgives.
I promise a better one to make it up next year, you said 'yes'.

it didn't go as smoothly as i had planned like months ago.
and i created a joke out of the cake in the end.
bought Gelare Ice Cream Cake, a nice one can??
bring it all the way personally to the Blu Jaz Cafe yet it can go missing.
-.-
yes waitress brought other people's birthday cake, a mango fruits cake.

baby asked me before everyone arrived, "got ice cream cake hor?? ^^"
i said "no!"
and really lorr, it came true.
again -.-

just at the look of his eyes, you can tell something was wrong when the cake arrived.
and i didn't realized it was the wrong cake until he finished blowing the candles and going to cut the cake.
i was too happy with the candles luhh!!
and darren koh went on teasing me getting over happy with the candles and the 2 big difference of both cakes!

OMG!! the VERY FIRST time such mistake was make.
don't know how blur i can be man.

end up, cake was found. :)
yay! ice cream cake, use scooping to eat the cake instead of cutting.
because the time taken for photo taking caused it to like melt.

baby's bunch of crazy clique are great.
thanks to darren lum, darren koh, stanley, BK, Sam, Yi Da, Leslie, Kendrick, especially Justina who helps me out alot. :))
and i mean alot. hahaha!
thanks for celebrating precious's birthday together.
had fun listening their stories, jokes...

and baby, as i said, a better one.
no more such stuffs gonna happened ever again.
hope you get better tomorrow.

Random Photos:

i post this because i look small here. =P

type type typee~

'culprit' hahaha!

darren lum.

stanley, yi da, bk.
*this photo looks abit.. AHEM!* =P

scoopy-scoopy-scoopy-dooo!

sam, yi da, bk.

Pretty Justina ^.^

NO MORE!~

UH-OH! got 'scandal'. =PP hahaha!

another one?? O_O

Sweeet!
*I bet baby is gonna laugh when he sees this.*

My sweetest of all. ^^v

TODAY

can't sleep the whole night, or i should say, insomnia.
almost these days.
so i went to make sandwiches. ^^
my virgin time! hahaha!
and i got clean up the kitchen after the mess!! wheee~

today just tells me that whatever happened sweet and nice cannot happened for a 2nd time anymore. it feels different, or perhaps it's coincidental. hopefully, the next time there can prove me wrong.

wanted to clear alot of unclear stuffs in me, but timing always seems to be not right, lack of time, lack of mood, lack of right condition to hear.
or perhaps i shouldn't be that frank to even anyone else at all, i ought to just keep it to myself again.

no, it ain't fair for anyone to type this way.

sometimes i wonder, it's time to have new friends. i mean thoroughly.
because i am almost defeated to my own timid-ness.

was meant to enjoy, get tanned, chat, but I didn't get to like tanned at all luhh..
and baby got red red tanned. WHAT MAN!!
already exposed till like this already still not tanned at all.
need sun tan lotion next time ^^
why some people get tanned so easily, some like so tough can?
lacking of something in my body?? hahaha!

Before scrolling down, wanna say...
my baby loves....
ATTENTION!!!

I like the lighting for these 2!

If you're wondering i have good photography skill...
oh well.. i might have.. hahaha..
but bf almost have poses for every photos i took..

Take 1

Take 2 + Take 3

Take 4

No QC...

SEE???! TOLD CHA!! HE LOVES ATTENTION!
*RUN*
That's why i'm attracted. =PP hahaha!

i don't know why i look like bian tian here.

~you can't ask more than just to see his smile and cuteness.

i don't know how to forgive myself for doing it on that day.
seriously, that guilt push me down real hard this time.
especially on the one that i love the most.
it's when an angel became a devil that day.
i'm so deeply sorry for it, for being the extremely baddest culprit.

24 hours more.

2009-05-02T22:06:00.001-07:00

changed.
waiting for baby to reply or call..
i went to do it bit by bit, whenever i touch it,
the feeling of being scathed is terrible.
thus, i stop doing it.

watch another episode, sometimes it says a lot.
i'm tiring everyone out.

and i'm heading out now.

~remembering these days before the day last year.

my moon

2009-05-02T07:48:00.001-07:00

oh my god.. my lashes are like all dropping.. -.-
last night 1040pm amk hub horsemen was nice.
caught with baby. "=PP"

thanks dear for accompanying me a night.
it just feel cosy cosy sleeping with you. ^^
and thanks for the time spending on me, hoping i will get well.
thanks for all the candies!
just too much too much.
loves.

what happen??

2009-04-30T07:35:00.001-07:00

shop kinda long day today.
exhausted.
i think i better start to wear flats and heels on special ocassion.
because the veins are showing up.
eeeyerr... ARH-GREEEE!!

for some reason, my temper not right.
i dislike myself being so irritating, annoying, insecure, unhealthy, petty and everything.
now i find myself full of bad points.
i know it's not right to feel this way, but i still do.
when i realized all these about myself, i find it so panicky.
what am i supposed to do to make myself feel better.

now you know i really hate the night.
I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT.

just leave me alone for awhile.
i'm like that reason being i dislike myself.

sorry baby.

annoying mood

2009-04-29T21:08:00.001-07:00

tired.
i'm waiting for sarah to reply and out from the house.
while waiting, i'm watching some investigation files.
and i suddenly realized even shows can get my temper very annoyed.
i don't know why.

i don't have the mood for anything and everything.

toodles.
i'm heading out already.

it goes half way and stop

2009-04-29T04:28:00.001-07:00

i'm always half way there and stop.
i can't get all the things through my mind clearly still.
and i get frustrated for being so forgetful.
sometimes when i think of it, i just hope it stops.
because it's so tiring not to know the ending.
it feels incredibly insane.
how to make sure of it?
why no one tells me? why why?

i really hate the night now.
really really really hate it so much.
it doesn't tell much about me.
the night no longer bring a smile on me.
i wonder how a night ride/night flight will be like for me?
will i look forward to it?

ahh.. no more thinking for the time being.
have been too hardworking today.

A Date with "you" in east coast park.

2009-04-28T08:23:00.001-07:00

Went East Coast Park today with baby.
Because i need to be out there.
but.. the rain somehow became a spoilsport.

Before you start off from here.
Just a gentle reminder:
Unglam photos might make you puke~
Thin make up, eyes small small, fringe in the mess, lame captions..
so take your own risk yeah?

Waiting for the rain to stopppppp~

Him:" WOOO~ I ❤ Seaweed!" + ^^v pose!

Baby loves this 2 photos. Because he looks like a small boy.

Trying to camwhore at Mac.

Ambassador of Dutch Lady!

I ❤ Mango, I ❤ Strawberry!
I am a Strawberry Boy!

My turn my turn!!

Got Mr. Shuai Ge, Sharon is happpppy!

I'm trying so hard to pose....

seriously, i reduced my fats on my arms. :(

Baby forever loves to be artistic.

Me: "OH NOOO! there's nothing much to see!!"
hahaha!

❤❤❤❤

Me:"come come, muacks muacks!"

hahaha.. see.. how much attention he likes to catch!
=PP

Stacking heads!!

MUACCCKKS!
Him:"OMGGG! since when did i allow her to kiss me??"

STUPID POSES IN ACTION!

I look super dumb here can??

I already burst into laughter.

He almost did as well.. HAHAHA!

Me:"Babbbyyy... can we don't leave here????"

Him:"NOOOOOO!" ROARRRR!!!

Me:"PLEAAAASEEE!!"

A SUPER DUPER UNGLAM ONE.
please do not laugh!

Piaaak Piakkkk!

BANGGGGGG!!!

VS
a head like pumpkin!

I know I know, you girls waiting for HOT Boyfriend's photos!
There you go!

Boyfriend is hot, but my eyes look damn freaking small..

see see.. the hot boyfriend!!

The hottest hottest guy. ^^

*FAINT*
now you people know why sharon, me is so insecure and threaten!
because of irresistible boyfriend.

~❤, sometimes you bring my fear away, like today. ^^

2009-04-27T05:41:00.001-07:00

perhaps physco-ing myself that 'enrolling' in would be good for me.
i presumed.

a dull entry, about colours

2009-04-26T23:21:00.001-07:00

what does pink and white makes you think of?
- sweet

what does blue and white makes you think of?
- greece

what does green and white makes you think of?
- clover

what does purple and white makes you think of?
- not sure

what does orange and white makes you think of?
- not sure

what does yellow and white makes you think of?
- nicely cracked egg

what does cream and white makes you think of?
- majestic architecture built
eg: La Sagrada Familia

cute boyfriend

2009-04-25T11:13:00.001-07:00

hahaha! i don't know sometimes what's wrong with the whole thing.
up and down.
anyway, i have photos that went through 'Quality Check' by boyfriend.
and he says "NO POSTING!"
and next he went on,

"go out yourself wear till so little, go out with me 包的那么紧(Wrap till thick thick and tight tight), wah rao lehh.. what's the meaning of this?"

hahahahaah!
^^v

so no photos! ^^

had 2 cups of instant noodles, and subway for dinner tonight.
seriously within 3 hours can?
i'm so dead with my figure.
gosh..

goodnight people.

rose petal, rose petal, why did you wither?

2009-04-24T09:52:00.001-07:00

Popeye. ^^

After dinner...

Strawberry Shortcake and Barcelona from Canele!

baby with mini dark choco macron.

<3 heaps.

black dress out today. wheee~

heading bed soon.
goodnight peeps.

white? pink?

2009-04-23T22:40:00.001-07:00

my determination just come from nowhere.
a little tired, woke up ard 6am, slept and woke up ard 8 plus.
i'm out with my black dress.

gonna look for pink and white long dresses.
maybe a pink cardigan as well. ^^

help me keep a look out!

2009-04-22T22:39:00.001-07:00

a lot of stuffs doesn't come that easy.
and when one don't gets it on time,
he/she gives up.

should it be this way or not?

wonderfully spend

2009-04-22T08:42:00.001-07:00

got back home, i've got steamed cake for my little supper from sis. ^^

and baby bought lunch for me.
woooooo! i love fishballs with heaps of chilli!!
yummmyyy!
and my gummies from baby.
because i really need loads of sweet stuffs these days.

today, we dressed till super slacked can.
my make up was like super light, and i head out.
i think i am super crazy sometimes to head out without make up.
these times without make out outside is like the really first few times ever since i have mastered the art of dolling up.
hahahaha.. and we went to catch a movie for dinner.=)
because baby was too tired so fell asleep at my place.

thanks for traveling down to visit these few days.
thanks for all these times. <3

"Forgets" starts to be in my dictionary

2009-04-21T08:49:00.001-07:00

photos taken with Felicia.
she sat behind me since Primary 4 with all the cute Japanese items.
she sat beside me since Secondary 3 classes.
she talks and play dirty. =X
my real innocent mind intruder. ;)
her height makes me feel so satisfied. =P

and Sharon hopes she is able to attend all the activities lining up for up, and to be lining-up events.

ahhh.. going crazy forgetting a lot of stuffs.
i think i better start noting stuffs down.
some i thought it never even happened and some i don't really remember though.
haass.. nevermind. ^^

strings tangled in my mind

2009-04-20T08:03:00.001-07:00

thanks baby, for rushing down to visit , cheer me up and accompany me.
when questions were asked,
i was stunned with it.
some parts become muddle.

the other photos all shaky one.
baby's new STAGE Cap.
cute right??

a lot of things can't be carried out nicely,
because i need to be well first.

whatever i heard and saw, i just want to forget about them.
i can't imagine and never expected it at all.
NEVER.
just here is enough, not a place that i dislike.

Sharon is ultimate tired today.
guess what, i didn't need to travel about like baby does at all.
yet feeling so tired.

needles poking is painful. =(
i had enough of my life like this.

No frustration involved

2009-04-19T20:31:00.001-07:00

i don't like each morning when i get up,
feeling weak and have to really lie in bed still i feel i am able to get out of my bed.

anyway, a little ___FILL IN THE BLANK___ feeling when i logged in to 1 of the application.

it gets a little omg.
i really can't believe it, and had a shock of my life when i looked at my hands and palms.
i can't believe what i saw.

don't ask me anything after you read this entry.
i think now i know how 1 of my friend felt.
it's like people who don't know how to even use their brains and think.
which part of the word they don't understand?
i seriously i don't know what to say.
how to feel and what should i do.
damn it.
i thought i was overly too much.
but i realized it ain't, it's not only me.
SHARON SIMPLY CAN'T TOLERATE ANY OF THIS ANYMORE.
is this out of purpose or is this because i don't feel settled or there are some reasons behind that i am not unaware of or maybe i know that but i just pretend like i don't know or because i tried to lie to myself for the better sake or because it's really the case.
this is fucking getting in my way.
i fucking hate myself.
telling myself " i should be fine X3" doesn't seems to really work at all.

anything, leave it.
give it to me, or done.

i asked myself too much ODD questions.
again, i asked myself, "who is this typing?"

i feel a damn whole lot of things myself right now in my own room alone.
i reckoned i need my pillar, so desperately much.
screaming into my pillow is because fear, that's why it explain the top.

2009-04-17T22:30:00.001-07:00

baby must be still in bed.

seriously, i kinda just feel like breaking down from now onwards.
too much of the stuffs almost burst out in me.

i know i was kept away.
but i want to go there.
i know i was protected.
but i still want to go there.

i just want to so much.

please please,
don't take that away from me.
sorry for being stubborn.
i won't blame anyone for that.

sweats found from nowhere

2009-04-17T10:26:00.001-07:00

i just can see myself having sweats out from my palms
every single minute every single hours, days and weeks.
i don't really understand why.
i only know i need to breathe deeper each day.
somehow i landed responsibilities on people too heavily.
yes, i'm really conscious of it.
because i am too conscious,
i'm lacking in my words.

i'm too tired for today.
though i havent done much.
used too much of my brain cells i supposed.
goodnight peeps.

Happy Birthday Mom & Dad

2009-04-17T08:23:00.001-07:00

A little drained after the 2nd half of the day.
Anyway, happy birthday to them.
sang a birthday song for them.
recorded in video. ^^

CUSTARD APPLES
just a side note: we don't sell fruits.

=) tadahh.
that's all for now.

Different time

2009-04-17T03:37:00.001-07:00

Aunty came over to Singapore last night.
Anyway, bought cake for parent's birthday.
yep yep, today and tmr is their birthdays!!

so Happy Birthday Mom & Dad!

i'm really some worrisome girl that they had.
i don't know, perhaps i should just stop being a worrisome girl.
i do not wanna be drive into a corner myself, feeling this and that alone anymore.
it's different now as i said.
very different.

i'm tired, way too tired.
i just hope i don't have to face anymore stuffs that i ain't able to take it at this time.
i'm heading out now.
toodles.

Indecisive entry

2009-04-17T00:10:00.001-07:00

i don't know how to continue blogging anymore.
just another entry then.
it ain't good feeling weak.
i hope i still can be myself in any situation now.

sudden craves

2009-04-14T09:57:00.001-07:00

told mommy i want kinder bueno and oreo!
one more!! i want cotton candy.
i'm in such a mood to eat these junk food.
uh ohhhh!
actually i just finished them recently.
but i want more!!
i've tried the white chocolate kinder bueno, but i prefer the original one. ^^

Cherry Tomatoes

2009-04-13T22:21:00.001-07:00

since i was given a day off not to visit grandma and bring her to hospital for further consultation, instead sis is heading there.
i shall take the time and go walk around myself after heading to SIM.

i didn't know sleeping can be a little tiring for me.
constant wake ups, achings, uncomfortable just set in me.
i often can't wake up in a clear mind completely and off to another nightmare.

i was amazed by last night sms from you.
my eyes set on the last phrase of the sms.
it's something i'm seeking for all these while.

Bangkok trip is off because of the riots.

i've constantly forgetting to off lights,
throw some sensitive stuffs. hahaha..
always recently.
ahhh..

i'm heading out soon.

ps: sorry, it's just cherry tomatoes. hahaha!
but they are uber crunchy and sweet!!

whatever is not meant for me to know,
keep it well or be frank.
what Sharon scared of is the word FEAR.
-don't worry, i'm only trying to be self conscious.-

toodles.
i'm heading out.

Goodnight

2009-04-13T10:56:00.001-07:00

hahah.. tadahhh!! present you this!!
suger content warning: EXTREMELY HIGH!

toodles. good night.

Happy 1 year anniversary, baby hong yi.

2009-04-12T08:16:00.001-07:00

Today, not really feeling kinda well.
Thus, never really camwhore.
but did take photo with baby!
went for dinner, and a movie. :)

pardon me for my fringe.

just love my shimmer pink nike shirt!
thanks baby.

and happy 1 year anni.
loves.

will post ystd photos tmr.

it strikes to the day of 12th april 2009

2009-04-11T09:07:00.001-07:00

The clock just strikes 12!
it's 12 April!
a date that's so memorable.
yes, no matter what. :)

it mark the day that i learn about him.
okays.. just these now..
will update more tomorrow.
getting a little headache.

overall, sharon did feel a little better in my heart.
and just prolly needs to be more happier.
that's all.

indeed, i need plenty of rest now.

Vienna International Buffet

2009-04-10T09:45:00.001-07:00

Hello!
Photos for tonight's dinner.
Wheee~

I ate seafood, which i am not supposed to.
oh well.. good luck to me.
took a lot of photos, bear with me for some self obsessed pictures.
=PP

and too bad, sharon is always forgetful.
when she is eating seafood, all she cares is about eating.
never take photo of it until it comes to the dessert part.
sorweee..
but they taste fantastic.
better than grand corpthorne brio!
i drink a little alcohol, and test tubes of juices, a lot of jellies and a lot of seafood and a lot of desserts. almost like a pig!!

too bad, we booked too late, or else we will be in the inside seatings!!

Vienna's Classic Cakes

Jellies

Zeh zeh!!!

Test tube juices!

mommy
(and she actually so scared of crocodile herbal soup when i just joke with her about it.)

so do you think dad's photography skill is good???

they mum mum-ing away...

yay!! me me!!

hahaa!! yes luhh.. i love to be in photographs!!
bleahhs!!
bye peeps...

A Piece of my mind.

2009-04-10T00:31:00.001-07:00

i'm happy over a phone call.
i'm happy over a chat.

a little stress about my advanced theory.
going for Vienna International Buffet later at night.
booked reservations.

❤, thanks for everything that was given by you.

happy birthday ming ling

2009-04-09T09:19:00.001-07:00

10TH APRIL!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MING - LING!
If one day, someone ever asked me, how long do you hold friendship for?
I will never be ashamed to say, "ALWAYS".
As long as he/she clicks and feels my heart, he/she will always be there.
With 5.5 years of absence in my life, this pretty lady,
TENG MING-LING is still living in my life.
She will never fail to be out from my life.
though she's far away from me,
but she is the one that i haven't forgotten.
that's how long you will be in me if you really treasure us.
loves.

when Joseph is chatting with me,
i realized perhaps i forgotten to update him about my blog link.
and i updated it with ARCHIVES link.
when i just randomly clicked on it, it goes to May 2008.
and it's just too much to reminisce about them.
what i feel is those time are just too great to be true and to be there forever.
every moments from there rolled in right before my eyes like crazy.

went out with dear to town.
it has really been a long time ever since we last went out to town area.
really really long.
even when we meet up like a few hours last week,
it has been kinda rush that i do not even have the time to really hold him properly,
or have a really good time together.
every moments now become just so valuable to me.
and i had a movie and dinner with dear's friends.
okays, he gave me a shock by telling me that.
haaaha.. luckily i wore my lens, if not no movie for me!!
overall was good. :)

thanks for the hugs, jokes, care, concern and touch.. i mean on the head the whole day today.
loves.
will get better eventually.

toodles.

Sarah Ice kimo

2009-04-08T07:31:00.001-07:00

2 more days to my BESTIE's birthday.

uncle called to ask how i was feeling.
the same is what i said.
omg.. seriously i find shrinking in my thighs and arms!
all my skirts and jeans and shorts are seriously LOOOSEEE!
unless i am gonna wear with belts and long tops.
therefore, i only left with 1 pathetic Mango skirt that i bought in Beijing.
YIPEEEE! hahaha! uh oh!! duno should be happy or not.
anyway.. met up with Sarah at Ice Kimo.
catch up a bit with each other and head for tuition.
hopefully, we can spend more time out.

gonna be on my bed soon and read my advance theory book.
omgg.. i better fare well next week.^^

toodles..

sometimes life...

2009-04-06T07:00:00.001-07:00

sometimes i realized a lot of things have to be compromise to carry on and move further more.
sometimes a lot of things won't be in your hands forever.
sometimes you just have to cherish all the time you have now and really hold them tight in your palms.
sometimes you rather you don't know anything to live happier.
sometimes whatever happens, you have to take things by your stride, you have to hang a smile no matter how bad it is.
sometimes you just have to see through their mask,
because some people live life unhappily, yet masking them through.
sometimes you have to be thankful if you got bugged and asked to go out.
sometimes you have to be thankful if you got nagged at or talked to.
sometimes you have to be realizing everything you have now is just privileges.
the friends, the love one, family, your life, they are privileges.
sometimes you have the responsibility to sit down and reflect on your own behaviour.
because alot of things won't be there after the word "LATE".

thus, everyone that i know and have now, they are just being loved so dearly.

i want to live life with no regrets, no guilt, no lies in me.
i want to live life with love for family, friends, and the love one right now.
because they are the one who makes my life living worth while.
i want to live life treasuring all that i have.
i want to just be the person i am, a happy one before i lose everything.

thanks for making the trip down for visiting.
thanks for the surprise and gift.
thanks for realizing and understanding me.
thanks for just lying beside me and hearing all i have to say.
thanks for nearing me when you're beside me and had your hands around me and burrow into your chest.
thanks for the tight real hugs that i miss so much over the days, weeks and month.
thanks for the wonderful kisses that i used to have in my dreams these days, weeks and month.
thanks for telling me you have finished reading the 'book' and your feelings.
even all these are just temporary, they already left a mark in my brain and heart.

it's just no matter what happen, how uncomfortable my heart feels when it's palpitating so fast, how uncomfortable it feels to just breathe in an extra breath than the normal pace, you know deep down on the heart, your name and face is written and carved there.
when 1 day, i'm gonna be well, wake up and everything is gone, it will always definitely gonna be there.

all i want, is just you and something close to my heart.

2009-04-05T21:13:00.001-07:00

i thought taking an extra big breath was okay.
my heart seems palpitating very fast.
something was wrong, i had trouble sleeping as well..
and so i ended up in the clinic this early morning.
forgotten what the bp number was, but doctor say was really low.
asthma relapsing slowly without me knowing.
ahh.. great.
all he says is "your bp is really really low, your mood affects it as well, and your asthma is relapsing, you better take care and don't agitate yourself or else, say hi to hospital."
doctor is really mean and sarcastic.
=_= was given some capsules, and went home to take it and go back to rest.
yeah yeah yeah.. goshh.
i'm still feeling giddy right here typing, going to bathe and head out to SIM.
guess these few days will be just good girl to stay in.
though i know a few days ain't gonna just recover like this.

-toodles.

2009-04-03T19:32:00.001-07:00

ain't feeling that well in my blood pressure.
it's like i don't feel low bp at all for 2 - 3 days after grandma's discharged.
only recently for these 2 days.
ahhh.. i'm heading out for tuition now and catching movie later.
toodles.

2009-04-03T08:44:00.001-07:00

The beauty of one's Love makes one happy!
that's how i make people happy by showing love love.
hahaha.. that's how grandma loves me back.
wahahaha!
and my camera seems to have some prb now.
out the whole day.
kinda drained staying out since 7am. =_=
can you imagine the whole Great Wall City is not open yet except for starbucks?
took cab like duno how many times today.
sis say we looked like tai tai going out in the early morning.
i don't want to be one right now!
sis left me ard 5pm.
was out with others.
till now....
tired tired.

never camwhore much.
just in the morning.

toodles.

2009-04-02T05:46:00.001-07:00

went out today with Angeline.
chatted and shop!
bought 2 shorts!! and she bought 2 shorts as well!
and 1 pink nail clipper, 1 big big black brush comb, 1 foldable one.
because my fringe is irritating me.

that's really my sweet little cute nail clipper!

^^y

the funniest thing is we went handicapped toilet to camwhore because very little people.
and when we both came out, it's like WOW!!
a long queue outside, and i still holding on to my camera.
oh no!! hahaha! we just acted normally and walked out.
i realized my photo taking skill is getting worse.

♥
toodles.

2009-04-01T10:37:00.001-07:00

Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21, held off cancer to celebrate the
happiest day of her life.
Katie had chased cancer, once only to have it return-to clog her
lungs and grab hold of her heart.
Breathing was difficult now, she had to use oxygen.
The pain in her back was so intense it broke through the morphine
that was supposed to act as a shield. Her organs were shutting down
but it would not stop her from marrying Nick Godwin, 23,
who was in love with Katie since 11th grade.

These picture was taken shortly before their wedding ceremony,
held on January 11, 2005 in the US.

In the picture, Nick is waiting for her on one of the many sessions of quimo to end.

In spite of all the pain, organ failures, and morphine shots, Katie is going along with her wedding and took care of every detail.

The dress had to be adjusted a few times due to her constant weight loss.

An unusual accessory at the partywas the oxygen tube that Katie
used throughout the ceremony and reception as well.
The other couple in the picture are Nick's parents.
Excited to see her son marrying his high school sweetheart.

Katie, in her wheelchair with the oxygen tube ,
listening a song from her husband and friends.

At the reception, Katie had to take a few rests.
The pain do not let her to be standing up for long periods.

Katie died five days after her wedding day.
Watching a women so ill and weak getting married and with a
smile on her face makes me feel like no matter how long it last,
Happiness is always reachable as long as you try to make it happen.

2009-04-01T06:47:00.001-07:00

wooohooo~
a lot of things to be done.
photos!!
i'm tired alrdy.
heading to bed soon.
tmr, out again!!

Freda, the one who is always standing by me.

i'm glad that i'm still a good listener.
a good encourager.
i'm happy that even regardless of her age,
she told me a lot of her feelings.
she never fail to give love to others.
thus, she is still a great lecturer.
no matter how down she is, i hope she cheer up.

2009-03-29T07:44:00.001-07:00

UH OH!!!

brought back flower baskets that lionel bought, and those fruits, milo, food, etc that aunties and uncles bought...
came back a little earlier.

apparently, grandma seems to be a little wierd in her brain.
not sure is it because of the nerves that the doctor caused.
just a few mins ago, nurse called me and say, "is her walking stick with you guys? your grandma suddenly woke up and now she is very upset because she cannot find her walking stick."
goshh..

this morning, we asked what she wants to eat from the food center downstairs.
she says CHAR SIEW PAU!
we went to buy and after an hour, we went up.
she is like, "who ask you all buy char siew pau?"
sis and me looked at each other.
"HUH??!!! you asked us to buy.."
grandma: "NO!!! since when???"

it doesn't look funny anymore..
it feels a little wierd.

i'm off to finish my stuffs.
toodles people.

2009-03-28T20:06:00.001-07:00

not feeling that fantastic today.
a little not well down in my throat and tummy and head.
i guess it's all these days.
hahaha.. it's okay it's okay.
sis went earlier to the hospital.
after her discharge, probably i will get my things settled.
and meet up with some friends that i haven't been seeing.
as well as the trip stuffs.

i need to find someone in the BITC contact list, and i went to download in my hotmail.
the contact list not too sure reminds me of what.

i'm heading out now to see my dearest grandmother.

2009-03-28T05:48:00.001-07:00

update on grandma's situation.

woke up at 530am. =_= because 2nd op.
sis around the same time and travel all the way to MOM and settle dad's stuffs.
Lionel was there with her to accompany.
I went to hospital.
they joined me later.
before they reached, i was on grandma's tummy again.
she brushed my hair till very messy but to her is very tidy luhh..
i'm like, "let her brush lorr.. messy already.." hahahaaha! :D
she got my hair in like EXTREME SIDE PARTING with no fringe at all!
oh my goodness! hahaha!

after she is being pushed into the operation theatre, 3 of us went for Delifrance lunch.
planned a little itinerary with my lappy as mentioned earlier.
had photos of hotels and prices with me alrdy!!
and air ticket price! *excited*
will settle this asap later on.
then went up to wait for grandma again in the visitor lounge and i was doing some comparison between hotels stuffs too..

her surgery so far so good after she came out, just in pain.
we waited till she finished her op.
after her surgery,pushed into her ward.
her eyes brimmed with tears.
it's when she held and gripped my hands so tightly.
you feel her fear.
and yes, Sharon teared too... :(
sis and me taking turns to wipe her tears and console console.
it's like you know she needs us, and wants us to be there for her.
it's when you feel so much of a worth living in this world knowing there is someone that needs you.

had a great chat with uncle ,aunt during dinner too. :)

grandma says that
nurses says :" your grand-daughters who are very filial."
grandma: "hannorrr!"

who ain't happy to hear that?
you can just see from the eyes of parents, how proud they are.
but they just won't say it out from their mouths.
hahaha!
effort appreciated.
from the way i blog, you know how proud i am of myself and sis.

alright, funny things are...(languages used are all mandarin)
grandma came out of the operation theater and...

Joke 1
grandma :"xian cai xian cai." (pickled veggie).
sis and me looked at each other.
sis :"huh? xian cai? ni yao chi xian cai?" (you wanna eat pickled veggie?)
grandma :"wo mei you jiang yao chi xian cai. zhi shi jiang xian cai" (i never say i wanna eat xian cai. just say 'pickled veggie'.)

Joke 2
grandma: "papa mai ya rou ah?" (you dad buy roasted duck?)
sis and me: "HUHHH???"
sis: "na li you ya rou?" (where got roasted duck?)
grandma: "wo mei you jiang ya rou!!" (i never say roasted duck!!) =.=

Joke 3
grandma: "woooo! wei shen me zhe li na me xiao? wo yi wei wo zai jia li?"
(why here so small? i thought i am at home!)
sis and me laughed.

Joke 4
she took the oxygen thingy on her nose and because it's tube-like, she push it up as if it's her old glasses.
grandma :"hahaha! wo yi wei shi wo de yan jing!" (hahaha! i thought it was my old glasses)
*faint*

Joke 5
she closed her eyes and opened her eyes and says..

grandma:"aiyoo! wei shen me wo yi zhi meng dao ni men liang ge?"
(why i keep dreaming of you both?)

how sweet...it's like how many people in this world actually dream of you?
dreaming of you, does it means the person have you in their mind?
i am glad, i am one of those many people that she knows in her dream.
i bet sis does feel it too.

kinda tiring, and i vomited a little of my dinner out.
cause ain't feeling that well.

guess what???!!!
i think it's around 450kg for the limit in a lift at my place.
the lift itself already have around 5 -6 people excluding mom, including 3 of us.
and mom was the last one to go in, "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"
uh oh, we 3 came out. dad don't want to malu himself.
so he stayed in there and went up w/o us luhh!
when we took another lift up, he was waiting outside the lift and he told us,
"SO MALUUU! i no face liao.."
mommy faster blame it on my lappy, "Must be your lappy heavy luhhh!!"
like ZZZZZZ...

sometimes when you really sit down and think about it again.
though you will feel tired and stress and everything when this heavy task is given to you(and sis).
but you know it's a TRUST that the whole family have in us to put her life in our care.
it's an achievement in our life.

because you will never know when is the last time you can ever hug, touch, hold the one that love you deeply, or you love deeply.
so you really really really have gotta treasure the one that you love, and love you.
don't neglect them and regret yourself.
i hope tmr will be a better day for her.
other than it's full of operations, fear of recovery rate, pain,
you know somewhere in her mind, you live in there.

apart from my grandpa.
my grandma is definitely courageous!
knowing she have to undergo a 2nd operation due to the surgeon's mistake,
will caused her more pain, more tiring, more problems, she still willing to.
this taught me a lesson.
it's like she is going all the way to reach her target ( to walk again ) even though she have to face all the difficult parts and pain.
think about it, people.
will you wanna undergo such pain like her? or will you give up?

she is not fear of operation, she only fear the after result if she is able to walk again.
she is believing that she will be able to walk. what a brave lady!
to me, grandparents are really much more braver than we youngsters.

that's what my picture above is saying!! "BRAVE!"
i'm heading for a shower now.
loves everyone!

2009-03-28T00:13:00.001-07:00

grandma is still in the surgery right now..
minor surgery seems big now. UH-OH!
because have been waiting kinda long like the major operation previously.
still waiting with sis and lionel.
had delifrance with them after she was pushed into the Operating Theatre.
sort of plan out the itinerary with lionel for bangkok trip.
still looking for nice hotel with very reasonable price. =)
it's not easy to plan out this, but it's fun though.
mom shld be here pretty soon and aunty and uncle.
with small cousins.
dad will be here at night.
let's see..:)
toodles people.
-hugs-

2009-03-27T07:06:00.001-07:00

SHARON'S NEWS TODAY!!

woah!! i'm blogging properly a few days after the operation.
sis, me and lionel stayed till quite late today actually.
well... another operation in the early morning tmr @ 830am because doctor seems to place the screws on her spine wrongly.
and nerves is a little affected by the misplacement.
good gracious!
the way doctor describes to me is...wooohoooo~
so scary... and i realised omg.. i asked her to sign the letter of undergoing tmr's op before getting dad's approval.
then hurry hurry call dad.. luckily he consented as well..
PHEW! hahaha!! uh oh!!
oh well, i believe she will be fine.

still, feeling a little bit naseous, low bp again.
i guess it really goes with my mood man!
but after awhile, i popped sweets, pineapple juice, mr.bean beancurd, watermelon, kaya toast, eggs, tea, mini melts.
i got slightly better with it.

today, cab fare is like 28 + 26 = 54

i didn't manage to get the receipts for the others trip today.

anyway, lionel came today.

his gift.
well.. it doesn't cost a lot though, it's all the thoughts that counts.
people outside should know me by now.
wahahaha!
but i love to spend a lot of sis's money!
hahaha!

i had a lot of ice cream today!
ate kinda a lot of small bites too!

ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF THE DAY!
NEWS COMING!!! *DRUMS ROLLLLLLLL*

BANGKOK TRIP ANYTIME IS COMING!!!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??
DAD AGREES AND CONSENTED IT!
ANYTIME TRIP!
most prolly lionel and sis will be going as well..
it's prolly only, depends on the number of people.
but the trip is on definitely.
parents won't be free anyway..
no limit to anyone out there.
as long as i know you, you know me, let me know if you're interested.
lionel is a frequent tourist there okay?
so it's a free and easy, he says less than 200 for the air ticket!
excluding 4 stars hotel which is already super good enough and ain't costing a lot!
1hour + flight!
i missed out the trip that mom and dad went for thailand 2 years ago!
oh man! hahaha! this time this time!
and end year trip to taiwan with parents', sis and co, perhaps will ask some of my friends if they are available.
hopefully, aunty grace is coming as well!!
then we can do loads of shopping!!
if ming ling and me is very fateful, she might be there as well..haha!!!
because i have asked dad when his project ends, most probably end of the year.
so great!!!

will be informing more people later on.
for the time being,grandma is still important.
until she got discharged,
i get my tuition slot settled.
passport settled.
perhaps some gathering as well settled.
then tadahhh~
time for it!

though now it's very tiring to travel like this to hospital everyday,
but i know grandma needed us.
she likes the accompany, she likes the attention, she likes the care, she likes the concern.
so why not?
she loves us to be there with her and chit chat!
anything for her.
she jokes alot today with the nurses!!!
grandma: "can you sing me a song please?"
nurse (who is practically not a chinese): "auntie, wo mei you chi fan, mei you li!"
grandma: " bu yao pian wo la!"
nurse: "auntie, wo ming tian chang gei ni ting!"
grandma: "ming tian wo dou yao zai dong shou shu le!"
hahaha!

and imagine her on the phone with her daughter with her frequent hokkien dialect.
out of nowhere, she suddenly speaks mandarin to her.
aunty (in hokkien) : "why you speak to me in mandarin?"
grandma (in mandarin again!!): " i where got??"

hahahaha!
so cute luhh!

and she dreamt alot of times about chicken meat and starts to look for chicken meat in her dream and say "chicken meat" in mandarin in her dream.

hahaha!!
again, cute!

i slept on grandma's tummy alot of times today!!
she will SAYANG me, i mean sayang my head luhh!
and when i just reached the hospital, i went high and low to find her.
hahahaha! nurses reported:" ah ma ah?? in level 2 doing x-ray."
me: "how to go there?"
nurse: "i duno lehh...must check with the other counter."
finally someone knows at the level 2.
and i held grandma's hand!!
she got SAYANG me luhh!!
den i got hug hug herrr!! then she hug hug me!!!
omg, so sweet feeling man!

i believe everything that i do, i dedicated what i should.
including taking care of grandma.
i'm of no guilty conscious.
but, no worries, tmr will be good.

and and and!!
i saw someone's pen today with "guilty conscious" this word.
is like how come in the world people will have such a pen.
hahaha! must be she have done something that's guilty, and have to remind herself.
is a nurse lorr.. hahaha!
UH OH! duno she got give wrong medication before anot? hahaha!!
maybe that's a good idea to remind oneself.
i mean for me luhh! hahaha!

and and and!!
took cab back with lionel and sis!
got people screaming so loud quarreling over there.
and they are queu-ing right in front of us. they quarrel and not moving,
so lionel as sis to move forward but sis was a little frightened.
hahaha! but in the end we did, and they got nothing to say.
and i saw yew tee point or smth like this.
looks not bad..

dad was too busy and couldn't fetch mom over as well for today.
it's okay though. it's like dad understands and chatted with me more and more.
it feels so good can?
though a little busy and tired doing his things, is like you wouldn't grumble so much because you know he already understands what he had done now, and it is worth all these.
misunderstand clear, sharon is happy because she got a loving family again.
everytime when we go through things and difficulties, i always feel much and much closer.
unless parents unwilling to be closer to me, and drift from me..
but they didn't. wahahaha!!
because i moving closer to them mahh..

uncle and aunty is coming tmr.
not sure lionel will be coming as well..
2 of another aunties came to visit last night already.
not too many visitors because not many of them is here.
uncle says:" 你和姐姐好伟大哦!"
hahaha! it sounds really super good!
because after a long tiring day, you hear praises.
it's like effort is appreciated. i always believe this.
because for all the operations no matter who had in Singapore.
i mean relatives, may it be grandma, grandpa or dad or mom,
we never failed to be there taking care.
seriously, it ain't a easy job for both sis and me.
but but!! it's still worth it!!
SALUTE TO OURSELVES!

so end of today's entry.
sharon is really damn damn tired through all these days.
but i know if she's alright, i don't mind anything at all.

2009-03-25T21:11:00.001-07:00

feeling super sick now.

feverish. aching all over. heavy head.
dont seems to be too well.

so currently i have been staying at home till now..
sis has already headed to hospital in the early morning.
gonna rest till dad comes home soon, and then he will be fetching me there.

on the bright side, i'm happy and looking forward to tonight,
which i am gonna pass dad later.

你对我的顾虑，在约束自己对我谈心吗？

2009-03-24T19:24:00.001-07:00

The Reason - Hoobastank?

i've check it out.

2009-03-24T08:50:00.001-07:00

just got back from hospital.
room arrangement was kind of chaos.
knowing today will be along awaiting day, sharon is with no make up,
her hair kinda messed up as well. =((
and i bet days for me these few days will be kinda challenging.

sharon can even zi pai in hospital.
oh well.. with my lappy's web cam ^^

i really don't know should i be happy, neutral or cranky.

~toodles.

2009-03-24T04:38:00.001-07:00

i'm in hospital now.
in Kopitiam.
i know i look stupid..
but just for fun!! haaha!

using wireless..bored...
toodles..

2009-03-22T02:52:00.001-07:00

Out with the girls.
My girls that I know from my most precious Beijing Trip. ^^
Too bad, Michelle ain't there.
Late Lunch at Soup Spoon, Dinner at Big O Cafe.
Gossips and chatting, encouragements and hugs.
Sunflowers and friends brings :D
Hope my Heart Chocolate Truffle brings me more love.
Wahahaha!

To: Michelle, Joyce, Ruby
Come come!! Identify this rubber band.
Look so familiar right?
I also have 1!

Toodles.
Mommy is grumbling and gossiping about her stuffs to me now in my room.
I'm off for dinner soon.

2009-03-21T11:40:00.001-07:00

Hello!! Photos are up!
Self-obsessed photos luhh..
OOPS! =PP
Sharon ❤ herself.
She adores the way she looks and probably she will love herself more after my complexion is fully recovered. WHEEE!~
and to people out there, in my opinion, Face Shop Product is not encouraged.
They are horrible products.
Oh, this is my blog to be clear, I'm allow to blog anything that I like.
If it's not that appealing to you, do kindly leave. =)

head out with Ruby and Joyce on Saturday.
pictures updated tmr. ^^

~keep going and moving on, ❤ you.

2009-03-20T08:18:00.001-07:00

ain't feeling that well these 2 days.
slight feverish today.
i think i ain't suitable to be a homely girl now.
but sometimes i really need a thorough rest.
oh well. i will be good tmr.
meeting joyce and ruby ^^

have been doing my things on my lappy,
done loads of editing and changes.
hahaha! but it makes me real happy!

did some dad's work.
no grumble. kind of a good girl today.

~ i miss you today, love.

2009-03-19T02:36:00.001-07:00

damn it, once i stay at home for just 1 day, all the craps comes out.
i seriously can't be bothered staying at home.
why am i staying at home?
i'm gonna be out even doing nothing outside from tomorrow onwards.
i can't even have a proper resting time at home without parents walking in
and out of the house.
when i found some place i can take a chance to breathe and hide from all these,
once again, i found out i was restricted by all the damn rules.
how saddening.
this ain't the life i want.
all i want is my freedom, my fun, my laughter, my joy, and smile, NOT PRETENTIOUS at all.

i don't mind waking up early and doing all the hospitalization procedures for grandma,
accompanying them to hospital, get arrangements done, and get ready for operation next tuesday.
almost doing what a parent/adult should be doing.
sis as well..

it's different from others, but i supposed this is good for us.
i just have to keep lying to myself the good points of just doing all these at this very age.
whatever may happened in the future, we're always 1 step ahead than most of the others,
because we learn it before.
maybe i guess that's why baby keep saying he's proud of me.
sometimes, the word "proud" gets a little too heavy for me.
but i love to hear that. =)

hahaha, if sis is reading this entry, wanna say sorry.
you've to do dad's work though you're busy with your reports and exams.
because your sister here though is having holidays, and not doing anything.
but i'm helping out in those things that i can help within my means NOW.
once bitten, twice shy feeling should be familiar to you too.
you also should know your sister is almost driven crazy by them with all these,
and didn't wanna touch it at all for the time being.
if not, i don't know how much more i can take.
you and me, we know our limit of taking in all these.
so, i'm so sorry. =(

i have been tolerant enough to give up a lot of my stuffs.
things that can be and cannot be said out of my mouth, i have already gave them up.
so what else do they want from me?
i'm going bonkers soon staying just a few hours at home.
and when dad got back home just 2 hours ago, i realized i can't even breathe normally when the frustration from the sound of the chair.
and when mom gets back, the loud sigh every moves she takes,
and demand of me doing some stuffs for dad..
their presence right in front of me is just so wrong now.
i can't pretty much take in a lot now.

whenever they are around me with those funny noises,
i really feel like screaming my lungs out.
because it feels horrible.
oh yes, i know i'm struggling, that's why i am feeling tired.

but does anyone know how not to struggle with this?
even though it might be after some times, when dad's project is done,
everything will return to how it was, hopefully.
perhaps, i should really go and find a part time job, no matter what is the pay,
stay out and work till late, and get back home, be on the bed.
the next day wake up and go work again.
let's see how it goes after grandma's operation.

Sharon just hope she can just swallow sleeping pills right now and just lie down straight into a deep sleep and wake up the next day, and off i go.

i'm so tied down by all the things that is happening around me.
shit! this is so effing irritating.

when my life is getting a little bit much more better, don't screwed it up.
because i will be clueless in walking aimlessly again.
i know i have been ranting about this.
oh well, if this didn't really get into my way, i wouldn't feel so tired at all and ranting here.

sharon has a little slight feverish, probably because i'm staying at home.
it sucks to stay at home.

"to trust one's instinct" and this takes alot of courage to do it.

2009-03-18T22:19:00.001-07:00

went to hospital with grandma and uncle this EARLY morning.
didn't sleep well last night.
okay, sharon saw smth she shouldn't see when she was going out with baby ystd.
and i thought it was okay, but it wasn't the case like that!
GRRRR! so i woke up super early at 5am and couldn't get to bed no matter how tired i was.
was in my yellow jacket and shorts! walked out of the house like zombie at around 7+.

self take! ^^ wheeeee~

so from the moment i met uncle and grandma, uncle's mouth haven't stop mentioning a name call "hong yi"..

so all they long i have been like taking baby's place to answer some questions and he has been lecturing me about my attitude and behaviour towards hong yi and this whole relationship.
to be optimistic, to fly like a kite, to catch a birdie and a colourful bird, tips and opinions, his view in his age and future, his experience, and some positive things that he sees in him and become negative in me. =_=

what was good in the whole conversation is that he told me "有心不怕迟"。
sometimes it's really comforting to hear good experience, good comments and good opinions and good phrases that just ease my heart.
but what matter most is the one that loves me.

perhaps talking to him all about these is really better than telling dad all these.
i feel kinda comfort at my zone after all these conversation and encouragement. :)

toodles.

2009-03-18T08:16:00.001-07:00

Went Funan with baby and get my 1T hard disk!! ^^
my IT personal consultant, but FOC for me.
I think we didn't walked alot, but don't know why tired.
oh well.. baby says he walked alot, that's why tired.
hahaha..
okays!! PHOTOS!
alot of kiss kiss photos right?
guess what he say?
" I think the photo we used to kiss kiss look nicer.."
and sharon now needs to practice man!
I wonder if I got kiss till very unglam in the photos???? O_O
grrrr...
oh, exams result out... so what can i say much about it?
still the same. =)

♥♥♥♥♥♥sweet♥♥♥♥♥♥

2009-03-16T08:49:00.001-07:00

not too sure what to type.
IT show work is really hectic and tiring.

shall just blog some photos that sis and i went to for Shokudo on the day of roadshow briefing.

test test!

sis & me. ^^

DESSERT TIME!

//edited:
Sharon lives like an adult, but doesn't get what an adult should get.
She just lives differently from other teens. =)

~a whisper of love in the mid of the movie just shows how much you understand in my mind.

2009-03-12T10:01:00.001-07:00

after IT Show for the 1st day, was a little drained by the work.
went back home, eagerly telling sis i wanna bathe before she does.
keep rushing sis back home on the way!
and then i faster went into my room, guess what?!!!
I SAW A VERY FAMILIAR HANDWRITING ON SOMETHING AND IT'S LYING ON MY BED!
and i straight away asked sis, "when hong yi came to our house?"
i quickly opened it up and it's sweet text on it!
it lies on my bed with benben and maremare this way:

can't show details though. =)
okays, i'm loving all the things that i have from him ^^.
thanks baby!!^^
you can never imagine the big big wide smile that i have on me when i saw that!
my eyes went poppppppping~~
toodles, i'm gonna call baby!!

2009-03-10T07:13:00.001-07:00

Hello! I know very little photos nowadays, and wall of text.
So there you go...
Have been resting at home these 2 days and out for dinner some of the time and tuition. =)
Girl's thing caused me to be even more tired.
Like now... *YAWNS*
And further more, alot of unhappy events just keep hitting my life.
Somewhat got enough of all these.
Luckily, when i needed someone, baby never fails to be by my side.
He walk me through these difficulties,
and he can even hang a smile on me when i walked out of the house in a depressed mood.
Thanks sweetheart.
Was home last night, wasn't in the mood for dinner, thus didn't eat alot.
and had this!! WHEEE!
yes, i know i'm gonna gain weight, you peeps must be so happy can?
especially that freda who is away now..

YUMMYLIOUS!!!

REPORTING TIME:
Meeting my Lovely baby ^^
Had Thai Express tonight for dinner after my tuition. =)
After which, baby send me back home, chatted a little,
and off to send his friend off at the airport ^^
Haven't really been seeing baby these few days.
A big accomplishment right?
Sometimes I wonder, what got into me?
I don't used to always look forward to see people at all man.
This is plainly crazy...

Happy Sharon is manufactured by Happy Hong Yi.

Yes, and I got home happily.
Went into my room, CAMWHORE time!
Dressing up, Camwhoring makes a person happier! LALALA~

This whole week gonna be busy with work.
Tomorrow out with sis and work briefing.
Not sure if I'm seeing baby tmr.
Going to bring laptop to my bed now.

bye-bye.

2009-03-09T00:30:00.001-07:00

i'm feeling super blank inside me can.
i'll go with it as planned..

2009-03-08T06:38:00.001-07:00

HE AIN'T FIT TO BE MY FATHER AT ALL.
JUST NOT FIT!
NOT FIT AT ALL!

a revengeful unreasonable childish father i ever seen.

2009-03-07T22:49:00.001-08:00

next week busy busy.
yesterday i had fun with baby.
he makes smile hanging on me.

~will you bring your heart closer to mine if i have no courage to bring it closer to yours?

2009-03-07T05:01:00.001-08:00

sharon felt so devastated.
yes, really.
this feeling sucks!
where is ming ling when i need her somuch.
great..
this feeling really is HELL!

2009-03-07T04:26:00.001-08:00

it become so hilarious that even talking to dad have to prepare my speech.
awaiting for right time.
that's so ridiculous.
i really don't know what's the result of communication with him later.

be cool..
take a deep breathe.
oh well.. i'm not like talking to any PM right?
zzz..

i just feel like inside me,
i can't describe the feeling that is inside me at all.
this feeling don't allow me to breathe properly every time.
and i am serious about it.

2009-03-05T06:36:00.001-08:00

sometimes i feel like i keep typing out to just voice out my thoughts to like just the net or i should say blog,
something that won't hit me or scream at me back for voicing out,
something that gives me opportunity to talk.

he had got a point right.
last night talk keep running through my head.
no matter sweet or logic or non-sweet or anything,
it kept repeatedly going through.

sometimes i just feel like these people is going to drive me crazy sooner or later.
they better know it fast before they regret.

i'm holding to a plaque with "NO FREEDOM", "NO COMMUNICATION OPPORTUNITY IN FAMILY".

yes, dad and mom are always busy.
especially dad, i can't even really sit down a day on the dining table and talk about things that we, as daughters had in our mind.
as long as we asked a question for approval, as long as answer is given, we have no opportunity to ask "WHY?" or even explain why we need a particular stuffs.

we seems like having a status of employer and employees.
we daughters are employees, we have no rights to say anything or voice out.
because manager gave his instructions.

just because a family works like a company, or because dad is too over used to what/how he talks to his employee, the family ties to him disappear.
i admired his work attitude and that's what makes him who he is today,
but i just hope he won't take long to learn that we are his daughters.

should i say i am fortunate to be in this family or unfortunate.
or rather i would say, my family will be perfect after they understand what we daughters have in our mind.
we have all what a family should have, love, care, concern, support and oh well.. decent income.
or i should say, yes, something above average.
no nothing is lacking right?
just the understanding part and communication part.

let me get to the point, sharon got no idea how to get this working.
only yesterday after a talk with baby,
i realized my life is like = lifeless.
i can sucessfully reached my goal and my aim slowly.
but i can never learn the process.
i only started to know i'm hindering people, causing people to lose their opportunities sometimes.
why? because i haven't experienced it, i haven't realized it before.
till i got it last night.
hahaha..
yes, sharon feels like her life is pathetic.
friends? yeah, i can have alot.
but how many really understand me?

i just need a way, a person to knock parents brain out to let them realized they are the ones hindering my learning process though they might not know it or realized it or didn't do it on purpose.
the reason is because they don't give us any communication opportunity.

oh, even there is.
we sat down, whatever we say what we have on our mind, we got shot back because they feel that they are parents, they have higher status than us, they give us life, we ought to follow what they asked us to do, and they can't lose their pride.
so no matter how true those words from us are, whether if they agree with us,
they will always find a way to disagree.
that's what so smart in my dad..

tiring to have a dad like this right?

sometimes when i think of sis, i feel so bad for her.
because how old is my sis?
well, she gave up in asking for all these after she kept trying i guess.
too tiring to communicate with parents yeah?
whenever i ask her, "should i ask dad about...?"
her reply is "don't bother luhh, can't make it de. later quarrel how?"
so yes, we daughters just keep tolerating for the sake of not quarreling because fear of miscommunication.
what a joke?! my sis lost more than me in her life, so tolerating all these while.
can you imagine us? rushing back home everyday before the given time to us?
one day, i guess both of us will go mentally insane.
oh well, more for me.
i didn't ask alot. even if this kind of freedom is given to us, i doubt i will dare to misuse it at all.
come on, have i not "tasted" the way dad "works" in a family?
i don't think we will DARE to misuse it at all.
just occasionally, we need that.
i thought it was like, as long as we tell where we are, who we are with, they should be able to consent.

yes, i admire sis for all this while.

after dad's projects, i'm gonna take up some time to ask for a free day from him.
haha, i think that VERY day is gonna be real crazy.
i didn't dare to hope for alot.
but, i can't let my life continue to be LIFELESS!!
which makes me feel weak in myself.
=====================================================

enough of ranting,
today i had a great movie with baby.
My bloodly valentine.
=_=

2009-03-04T07:56:00.001-08:00

heart feels real pain inside.
haa.. you people should test out the pain.
it's like someone opening up your heart with a tweezer.
just crazy man.
the way dad screamed at me.
why do i wanna care so much?

god... haaa.. sometimes i wonder why i allow other people to play with my heart.
twisting and turning my heart, pinching it hard.

that's incredible.

2009-03-03T22:03:00.001-08:00

sorry for the previous posts.

sometimes i just find that until we lose something, we will never learn the word "cherish".

similarly goes for a family, friends, relationships..

until recently, i starts to like lose the relationship with family, i realized the importance.
yes, i tried to build it up.
but dad spoils it.
i don't care if cousins are reading this.
because this is the fact.
he spoils it over his work stuffs.
till one day, when he lose maybe either people in this family, he will start to learn the word of "cherish".

the other 2, imagine it yourself.
i've already know the importance of the 2.
doing something about it already, have you done it?

sharon hopes to see myself being able to laugh and smile from the bottom of my heart again.

2009-03-03T20:54:00.001-08:00

duno why when i needed a person,
i just...

2009-03-03T20:03:00.001-08:00

i dun give a fucking care of what i have to do for dad anymore.
anyway, it always seems like a trading for my freedom and dad's work to me.
though sometimes working on those stuffs for dad don't seems to be able to trade for all my freedom.
but dad was really too unreasonable this time.
that's enough for me!!
taking up the time that grace and me supposed to meet.
i already tried but it don't seems to work out for this stuffs.
so what?
he basically just throw his tantrum around like a kid.
took his phone, push the chair and come on!!!
wad the hell..
how can i make sure a government stuffs and a course seat there?
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
somehow being his daughter is a VERY TOUGH job.

or maybe it's right that people only don't recognize good work that is done,
but people only reprimand when bad work is done.

~sharon just needed a person =( to talk to.
i'm at the verge of it.

2009-03-03T08:42:00.001-08:00

not sure why, i make a person who can says "bringgg bringgg!!"
in my sms become a person who's so down.
yes, i felt guilty.
but why people in this world just won't feel this way for people?
they don't feel guilty of making a person upset. =(
sharon don't like it. =(

and i'm not mad anymore i guess.
just a deep breath away~

2009-03-03T06:58:00.001-08:00

心情难以说的糟糕。

Sharon just blame herself for just coming into this family.
Sharon condemns it whenever i feel so helpless in asking more freedom.
Sharon don't enjoy life like other teenagers do.

but nevertheless, i love my family.

i can't really describe the love and hate 1 thing or more.

pardon me for ranting here.

it feels DAMN DISHEARTENING to hear a "NO" for every single freedom each time i ask.
it spells N-O.

I've made up my mind this time.
21st birthday, i don't want any ex ex pressie from parents.
i want key of the real meaning in key,
i want passport of the real meaning in passport = FREEDOM.
I've enough of 20 years of "JAIL" or being "CAGED".

2009-03-03T05:26:00.001-08:00

happily wishing to be granted,
happily hoping to choose the right day.

hahaha, 1 sentence.
"that's your dad, why ask me?"

hahaha, seems like this shows the "draw a VERY CLEAN line" in between us.

this feeling SUCKS because it sounds as if it's nothing gonna do with him.

2009-03-03T04:55:00.001-08:00

I have been living in a BIG JAR of HONEY these few days.
Just this way, it ain't that tough right?

Yep, though in an environment of sweet, I'm just so scared to lose it once again.

tmr, applying advanced theory with grace.

gosh, is today the day?
or maybe tmr?

=((

2009-03-02T20:26:00.001-08:00

oh dear...shld i pick today??

2009-03-02T07:39:00.002-08:00

Hopefully i can ask somewhere around next week.
GRANT MY WISH PLEASE...

~the most sweetest touching words you ever said and asked today.

2009-03-01T07:30:00.001-08:00

Went to the Armed Forced Fair with ♥.
hopefully ♥ don't have to be stress over it. ^^

Headed to Vivo after that..

okays, fringe-s are pretty messy.
oh, that's call natural! hahahaa!

and thanks ♥ for the gummies. =)
now, it's almost time i should go to bed, a little tired.
but i don't know why i'm feeling kinda scared to go bed. zzzz..
wanna try sleeping in 20-40 mins time.

perhaps 1 day, i'd love flying kite. =)
because i wanna appreciate the theory behind it.

~these are the times that i wanna treasure with you. :)
still ♥-ing.

2009-02-28T06:30:00.001-08:00

baby is back.
oh yes, freda told me recently, "your blog is always BABY BABY away.."

haha...i'm speechless with her saying this.
actually what's inside my brain, i'm also not that sure.

anyway, Hello everyone!
I'm Sharon!
Regardless if you've already know me, know me again.
Because I'm always the same. ^^

2009-02-26T09:28:00.001-08:00

i'm having supper now. MAGGI mee + wanton + egg.
was eating maggi in the darkness, because freda was playing L4D on my lappy.
her lappy graphic card just so CMI.
hahahaaha!
wheee... i havent got supper like very long time..
she is making me fat!!

2009-02-26T05:59:00.001-08:00

freda is coming,
alright, i'm still as comfortable without make up in front of her.
tadahhhh!
i'm waiting for her to come.

2009-02-26T05:00:00.001-08:00

let's see if freda is coming over to stay at my place later.

went out with grace today.
pretty good.
k box away.. yepp. =)
had chats! good chat.
feels good and right.

dressing up just lightens up my mood and brings happy happy to myself.

it's grace =)

a sentence that might never be familiar to anyone before.
or we might overlook this.

"when you quarrel with the other party, ask yourself why are you in a relationship with her/him?"

it's because of love ♥.
it all started off because of love ♥.

it hits me quite hard for this as well..

hope baby have great time with is friends too.
♥♥♥<3.

2009-02-24T09:14:00.001-08:00

i used to love romance drama.
but now, i'm trying to love it.
whenever i watch it now, it feels so different.
in fact, i'm scared to watch it.
really, really.

i love you still.

~looking forward to tomorrow so badly.

2009-02-24T07:43:00.001-08:00

Visit to NUH with grandma and uncle for follow up consultation on her spine and nerve on her legs.
so cam whore a little.

at first i took it this way, she wants me to take from this direction (below)

Ah ma so enthu taking photo!!

i help her take nice shots, but the scrn not that nice yeah?

camwhore with ah ma!!

wait almost like 3 hours for the doctor. =_=

after that had dinner popeyes at changi airport with ♥.

no laughing at my slanted fringe, say they are nice!!

i've no idea why am i loving a dao kia..

<3 HEARTS HEARTS!
from tomorrow onwards, will miss baby for 3 days!

2009-02-23T05:17:00.001-08:00

you can 100% guarantee family relationships unchanged.
you can almost guarantee friendships unchanged as well.
what you can't guarantee most in your heart is a relationship.

perhaps i never once feel not guaranteed for that before.
i swear, i felt it once guaranteed in my heart by you before.

sharon, please be brave. =)
that's all i ask for myself.

just because i know,
that's why there ain't reason for me not to love you. ^^

~i'm searching it high and low.

2009-02-23T00:05:00.001-08:00

once again, i ask myself.
maybe i was really bored.
i come to think of it, it ain't the life i'm looking for by drinking away.

sharon, for one moment, you better do make up your choice.
by doing that, it's not whenever you feel bored, you do that.
i fear i might enjoy it whenever i'm bored.
i gotta make it clear that doing that is only for entertainment and fun.

sharon, again, you have to self realise who you wanna be and what you're becoming to.
bye bye.

2009-02-22T05:50:00.001-08:00

Just this sentence:

♥ you baby.

and no more in my head.
because i have no idea what to do next.

2009-02-22T03:22:00.001-08:00

pardon for the blur image.
tadahhh!! new fringe and my rebonded hair.

i duno, i seems busy with gathering stuffs.. yet it seems so luan mann..
hahaha..
-primary school gathering
-sec school gathering
-choir gathering
-clique gathering
-and the indonesions friends gathering
-michelle and jess gathering
-joyce and girls gathering

i bet i'm gonna miss a few...

sharon is gonna eat chips with hot cheese dip now.
and yes, she needs alot of her rest. =(

2009-02-21T07:45:00.001-08:00

i no longer want it anymore.
totally disastrous.
atrocious.
it was taken for a joke/threaten by mom.

the numbness yet pain-like bruises got me dizzy.
it's getting me.
i hate to let you realize this way.

seriously, i'm feeling all gone.
great great.
i'm done for it.

hard question was there.
why mare mare and not benko?

as for mom and dad,
really, i bother none of them at all for now..
i tired sick of them.
no more energy for anything.
leave me alone.
if i can ever do this, i'd ask for them to get out of my life for at least this period of time.

thanks, i never know i could say such heartless thing.
now i'm out of my mind and solutions.
too drained for anything.
done.

no matter how pain a bruises get, it's because i wanted it this way.
but i never regretted wanting it.
no matter how pain the bruises is, i never wanna leave it unattended or avoid it.

2009-02-20T22:18:00.001-08:00

first day of tutoring.
was fun!
an experience for me added ^^
wheee-ooo-wheee~
baby is coming.
i'm all for muffins now. =)
toodles.

2009-02-20T08:55:00.001-08:00

hello!
i've enjoyed today spend with baby hong yi at east coast.
played jumping jacks thingy.
alright, i have to conclude that it's adventurous, fun, tiring, yet thrilling.
i had my fringe covered with sweats and perspire.
walked all the way right to the end because baby says Stan intro some funny honey dew juice.
ate new zealand ice-cream, and the fats burned are all back. =.=
honey dew juice indeed was nice. =)
baby was super over obsessed with that.
JUST WANNA SAY I ENJOYED TODAY. =D

i had my hair cut, oh well.. can't tell from any pictures below..
it looks super dolly...haaas..oh dear.. D:
and i'm excited for tmr!

Baby look professional with those equipments yeah?

tall people trying to be more taller. =_=

short people like me, uses shorter jumping jacks. =_=

yay!! the picture of the day!!

~amazing me is only created by amazing you.

2009-02-19T07:52:00.001-08:00

i love chatting with alexis, karyu.
it has been real long since we last chatted.
she is real down to earth, talking a lot of sense into me, making me realized the world out there, friends as well is really different from what i already saw.

she let me know there are really a lot of different kinds of people.
we talked about a lot of topics, may it be being vain, materialistic, studies, careers, friends, curfews, fun..
and she told me "wine goes better with age".
as we get older, we see clearer.
maybe we will never get to understand, it's only when we went through them.

i can just chat through the whole day with people like this.

2009-02-19T03:48:00.001-08:00

alright. tmr gonna have my hair cut!!
=PP won't be posting pictures until a few days later after it matured..
unless it looks superb after cut.
miss baby.

safe and secure you have her.
unsafe and insecure she have you.

2009-02-18T21:02:00.001-08:00

i'm craving for candy floss..
kinda doing my stuffs halfway.
this morning, i woke up, just feel kinda pain somewhere..
but i'm not gonna care so much.

sometimes questions do ponders me alot.
because i can no longer keep guessing,
or keep estimating what a person did that for and why does she/he do that.
no matter who.

tmr i am gonna see baby.
yes, i'm addicted to my 'drug'.
hahaha...

baby sweetheart.<3
you're all that i love.

2009-02-18T04:34:00.001-08:00

how filial can a child be?
she is poor thing, but what can i do?
perhaps i should be just staying here.

between fun and parents, which one do you choose?
i chose fun if they ain't around me.
but the fact is they are, and i have to be bothered about their existence.

i realized whatever i does, or did before, always doesn't matter to others.
or maybe, they don't appreciate it at all.
or maybe, they don't use their brain at all.
or maybe, they are too cold blooded.
or maybe, they are really taking it for granted.

no matter to whoever.

or maybe it's fair for me.
because i met baby =)

after this, i started to realize i ain't that attached to them slowly.
i don't know why.
maybe because I'm really putting all to myself or maybe i'm feeling nothing or maybe it ain't really our fault at all.

putting those aside, i had a great day with baby today.
he is all that matters now.
loves.

wheee wheee~
got reflection got photo!!

Pizza Cone and baby in his Ciao! shirt. =)

heees ^^ me me!!

ps: baby, your phototaking skills is getting better. =P

no more adorable.
Charming..
hahaha...baby loves posing away when i am playing with my camera.
that's why some people can actually beo girl girl till forgotten to press the lift buttons. =PP

baby faster turn around and pose pose pose!!
tsk tsk..

baby ride ride on the horse!! hahah! so cute~~

ikea.
baby Q-ing also wanna pose. =_=

it's baby sweetheart and me!!

2009-02-17T19:54:00.001-08:00

came online to do some stuffs.
oh well.. sighh..
and i woke up late..and now baby ain't in the good mood because..
i wake up late = no breakfast, and blah blah blah.. something happened at his place..
so yepp...
=((( oh my god man..
hungry baby = angry baby.

now i understand.

bye bye.
i better head off first.
toodles.